Comment Poems

I try and leave little poems if I particulary like a deviation: Here is a small collection of them and the deviations that inspired them.

Toaster Genie

Yawning, scratching
tiredly stretching
just another boring
morning
and then!
before me a teeny meany:
The devious toaster genie!


Legs

Legs I tell you, are no good.
I'd like to draw them, if I could
but when I try, they don't stay put!
And even if
I then succeed
Imagine please, if you would:
I still have to draw the foot!


Tied and Truly

Oh my, said our heroine,
chaining me up is really mean.
And all these skulls and bones around
I think I feel a dread profound.
But I see, Sir, from your attire,
doom and dread is what you admire.
So I do hope you don't mind too much
If I disembowel you from head to crotch!


Beware...

Just the other day in the lab
I jerked awake, drool in my lap
My plasma was burning,
out of control
the vacuum pump churning
smoke coloured coal.

"Where's my bean juice!"
I cried out it fear,
Yikes, what the deuce,
a coffee goblin was here!


Caption this II: Pirates

I have told you once,
I have told you trice,
firing cannons in fun
is your biggest vice.
Now go and retrieve
the cannon ball fast,
for so help us god
it was our last!


I shall own all of you

Oh! I've seen monsters,
with teeth without count,
been threatened by punsters,
with puns that will haunt.
But never felt I dread,
never this afraid,
in front of me they sit:
les méchantes pommes frites!


The Pact

I have to admit, oh sire,
despite your kingly attire,
and all the stylists you hire,
the concubine ain't all afire.
Even your wife did inquire,
of the alchemist to acquire
soap of the flavour brier
to apply despite your ire.

For after a thousand years, oh sire
you emit an odour most dire!


Too Hairy Today

I am sure you are quite qualified,
your resumé is the best I've spied,
but nevertheless I won't hire,
I am sorry if your situation's dire.

I don't mean to discriminate,
they'll tell you the same, all over the state
it is just not really opportune
to employ a werewolf in a hair saloon!


none 1

Swift and merciless of mind,
sleekly following the hind.
The doe knows nothing of it's doom,
sees not the shadow behind it loom.
Finally, after following for hours,
the panther pounces! strikes! devours.

Silence again settles throughout the wood,
a corpse remains where the doe once stood.


My headless friend

"Don't loose you head!"
they said to him
"Don't you drop it in the bin"
It made him mad.

T'was not his fault
one early morn
he woke up and cough'd
his neck was torn.


Self PoTRait...  

Hail and well met,
oh traveler fair,
through the looking glass you stepped
please sit, take a chair.

From your bewielder'd countenance,
I take it it's your first time here,
oh, don't regard me all askance
this is a land of joy and cheer!

Just take a bite, of any 'shroom
you'll find they taste as best they can
You'll be quickly, I assume,
one of their biggest fans!

Habit-forming? Addictive? Thugs?
Sir, you misunderstand!
No such thing as drugs
Here in Wonderland!

(with apologies to Lewis Carroll)